http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lxbcPwRuj4&feature=channel
OH MY GOD. You need to watch this. It's 6 parts. This girl (as an experiment) cuts to 500 cals a day for 2 months. It's so funny watching her try to be eating disordered! I feel bad for her kind of. Like she's a weak person. I do feel a bit better though because at the end her BMI is 19...same as mine! And I did it with WAY more strength then she did lol. <3
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Doctors...blechhh
So I went to my primary care physician yesterday. I got weighed and had blood tests and all that shit. Luckily my pulse was 71 beats per minute so I didn't have to get an EKG. Haven't gotten the blood test results yet but I was tested for magnesium, calcium, potassium...etc.
The weight, though, it FREAKED ME OUT. The appt. was at 2:30. I was wearing clothes and shoes. I weighed in at 115 lbs. GROSS I AM SUCH A FUCKING FAT COW. My BMI is currently 19. NOrmal, but the doctor was like, it's really low, yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. I have been taking like 10 or more green tea pills per day. Bought some more at Rite Aid for $6! :)
Today I was being so good...woke up at 7. Had coffee w/ Truvia at 8. Had raisins at 9:30 for laxative effect. Worked. Then had green tea. Then I messed up. I ate 120 cals worth of bread. and then I was like, oh, I should have some mango. And then I ate CHOCOLATE CHIPS. AGAIN. GRRRRR. So I'm at like 300 cals today. and it's not even 3 pm. FUCK.
Skipped dinner last night at least. Hopefully I will do that again tonight. Dad threatened me with a feeding tube last night and mom was like, "This has got to stop, Clare." Well they can go to hell. I'm not fucking stopping. I weigh 115 lbs for crying out loud! I'm so fat and disgusting. I seriously wanted to cry when I look in the mirror. Thje sad thing is, I remember when 115 was my goal weight. And now 115 is fat to me. Not sure what I think about that. Oh. And my period is late again and I keep getting chest pains. And you know what? That makes me happy. Because it MUST mean I'm getting thinner, right?
The weight, though, it FREAKED ME OUT. The appt. was at 2:30. I was wearing clothes and shoes. I weighed in at 115 lbs. GROSS I AM SUCH A FUCKING FAT COW. My BMI is currently 19. NOrmal, but the doctor was like, it's really low, yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. I have been taking like 10 or more green tea pills per day. Bought some more at Rite Aid for $6! :)
Today I was being so good...woke up at 7. Had coffee w/ Truvia at 8. Had raisins at 9:30 for laxative effect. Worked. Then had green tea. Then I messed up. I ate 120 cals worth of bread. and then I was like, oh, I should have some mango. And then I ate CHOCOLATE CHIPS. AGAIN. GRRRRR. So I'm at like 300 cals today. and it's not even 3 pm. FUCK.
Skipped dinner last night at least. Hopefully I will do that again tonight. Dad threatened me with a feeding tube last night and mom was like, "This has got to stop, Clare." Well they can go to hell. I'm not fucking stopping. I weigh 115 lbs for crying out loud! I'm so fat and disgusting. I seriously wanted to cry when I look in the mirror. Thje sad thing is, I remember when 115 was my goal weight. And now 115 is fat to me. Not sure what I think about that. Oh. And my period is late again and I keep getting chest pains. And you know what? That makes me happy. Because it MUST mean I'm getting thinner, right?
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